As a parent, you know that in the beginning, your baby needs to be fed frequently, both day and night, and that this will cause your baby to wake up several times throughout the night. But as the months go by, many parents wonder when those 2–3 hour blocks of sleep will turn into 6–8 hours, and eventually into 11–12 hours.
As a sleep coach, I often see that parents are still dealing with many nighttime wakings after the newborn phase. Many parents are stuck in that exhausting cycle of frequent waking, where feeding often seems like the quickest solution, but at the same time, you find yourself wondering how to phase out those night feeds. Although feeding helps quickly, it is important to realize that not every nighttime waking is due to hunger. Making that distinction is the first step in calmly phasing out night feeds.
In this blog, I will guide you through how to phase out night feeds in a way that is realistic and achievable.
Look at the need
Babies wake up at night for various reasons, primarily due to hunger, a need for closeness, or habit. Before you begin phasing them out, it is important to first take a good look at your baby's pattern. Does your baby wake up around the same time consistently? Is there a clear rhythm?
If your baby wakes up at the same time every night, regardless of how the day went, there is a high probability that this is happening out of habit. The body gets used to a feed at that moment and, as it were, keeps "asking" for it. Another way to see if it is truly hunger is to look at your baby's sleep behavior. For example, if your baby previously slept for 6 hours straight and is now suddenly waking up every 2 hours, hunger is often not the cause. If you provide a feed at every moment of waking, a pattern can emerge where your baby gets used to feeding to fall back asleep.
Why phasing out night feeds can be helpful
When your baby gets used to a feed at every waking, it can cause more frequent waking at night, prevent them from reaching a deep sleep state, result in them drinking less during the day, and make them dependent on the feed to fall back asleep. By phasing out night feeds in an appropriate way, you help your baby to create longer sleep blocks, drink more during the day, and learn to fall back asleep on their own.
Gradual phasing out
You can start by gradually reducing the amount of feeding at night. If you are breastfeeding, you can slowly shorten the duration of the feeding. In this way, you help your baby get used to fewer calories at night and more during the day. This can also help prevent your supply from dropping suddenly (in the case of breastfeeding).
Some babies get into a pattern of drinking more frequently at night during the 4-month sleep regression. This can even cause them to drink less well during the day, also known as “reverse cycling.” By phasing out night feeds, you actually stimulate better feedings during the day and longer blocks of sleep at night.
Your baby might protest at first when you offer less food. It is also possible that he or she will continue to wake up. By staying consistent in your approach, your baby will eventually learn to continue sleeping on their own.
Increase the time between night feeds
Instead of feeding every time your baby wakes up, you can slowly increase the time between feeds. For example: if your baby normally drinks every 3 hours, try to stretch this to 3.5 or 4 hours. This way, you help your baby create longer sleep blocks and become less dependent on night feeds.
Your baby may wake up earlier than you planned. In that case, try to comfort them in a different way first, such as rocking or another quiet method of soothing.
A different way of soothing
If your baby is used to falling asleep with a feed, rocking, or being held, they will often need this at night as well. Babies enter a lighter sleep phase at different moments during the night. At those moments, they may wake up. Not every waking moment means hunger. Sometimes they are just looking for comfort.
You can then try other methods, such as picking them up briefly and talking quietly, or placing a hand on their body. This is how you help your baby learn to fall back asleep without a feed. At first, it may take a little longer for your baby to go back to sleep. With repetition and consistency, this will improve.
Stopping night feeds all at once
For some babies (from about 6 months on), stopping night feeds all at once can work. It is important, however, that your baby is ready for this and is getting enough nutrition during the day. By responding the same way at every moment of waking (without feeding), you help your baby learn to fall back asleep on their own.
The first few nights, your baby may still wake up at the same times as before. But usually, the moments become shorter and less frequent, and many babies are sleeping through the night after just a few days.
What if it coincides with a sleep regression?
Sometimes nighttime wakings coincide with a sleep regression. Your baby is going through a major developmental phase, which can temporarily make sleep more restless. You will often notice this through more frequent waking, difficulty falling asleep, and a greater need for closeness. It can then be difficult to determine if it is due to hunger, habit, or a developmental leap?
Especially in this phase, it is important not to try and change everything all at once. First understanding what is happening helps you to make more targeted choices, including regarding the phasing out of night feeds.
Have you noticed that sleep has suddenly changed and you are not sure where to start? In my Sleep Guide: Sleep Regressions, I explain step-by-step what is happening and how to deal with it without increasing the restlessness.
4 signs that your baby is ready
Your baby is ready to phase out night feeds if they are older than 6 months and you recognize one or more of the following: waking up every 1–2 hours, falling back asleep immediately upon feeding, not drinking a full feed, or waking up at exactly the same time every night.
What can you expect during the phasing-out process?Your baby has to learn something new, and that takes time. The first few days might be a bit more restless, cause more protest, and require finding the right rhythm. But you will often see improvement after just a few days.
In conclusion
Phasing out night feeds will help your baby sleep better, learn to fall back asleep on their own, and experience more rest at night. Stay clear, be patient, and give it some time. You don't have to do it perfectly.